Memoies of a Dead Man
by EmrysofWriting
Summary: My little written version of a Youtube video.


**A/N: **Hehe Hoho Off to Memory Land we go! Anyway this is a story version of Almost Lovers - Johnlock by lizzelizabethTV. Yes, I did ask permission to write this! Also, expect more Sherlock fanfics from me!

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**Memories of a Dead Man**

Dr. John Watson had been tossing and turning in his sleep, reoccurring dreams of Sherlock jumping off St. Barts, had been plaguing his dreams ever since it happened. Sitting straight up, the dream or was it a memory, still playing in his head. Breathing deeply, he watched as Sherlock jumped off the building. His last word to Sherlock's grave ran through his head. _"I was so alone, and I owe you so much. But, please, there's just one more thing, one more thing, one more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don't be... dead."_

Laying back down, memories past through his head, like a slideshow, like when he first met the enigma that once was Sherlock Holmes. His friend had taken him to the lab, to meet a potential flat mate. Sherlock was doing something, but looked up when he entered, acknowledging him. The man was dedicated to his work. He had let him borrow his phone to send a text, and then while leaving did that thing with his mouth that was cross between a smirk and a click in one.

The next memory to haunt John was running through to college complex, searching for Sherlock, who was all alone with a serial killer. His heart still hammered at the thought of almost losing Sherlock then. When he saw through the window, while Sherlock studied the pill, he screamed his name. He had shot a man to save Sherlock Holmes, and he'd do it again.

The memory of running through the streets after the taxi cab came next, making him remember jumping rooftops. He'd do it again just to follow the black clad figure, to have the time of his life, like he was when Sherlock was around. Forgetting his cane, and forgetting his limp. Seeing that Sherlock was right, it was psychosomatic. And laughing at the black haired man, to see his confused face.

Then Lestrade's 'drug bust', just so the man could know what Sherlock had known. The way Sherlock yelled at Anderson, for even being there. It was Sherlock to insult those 'inferior' to him, such as Anderson. But it was just another piece in the puzzle, which shall stay unfinished, named Sherlock Holmes.

The intense stares that Sherlock gave came into John's mind. That man could stare down anyone, and know who if they were guilty. It was like he stared into your soul, yet you could not look away. You wanted your soul to be taken by Sherlock. Yet the man could yell at you, without even yelling. But once he cooled down, he was sorry, yet never said so.

John then thought of the silent cab rides they took. He would stare out the window, while Sherlock thought of a million things at once. No one knew what was on that man's mind, and if mind reader's existed, they'd never read Sherlock's for fear of insanity.

All the times people call them a couple, the second time really came to mind. He was on a case with Sherlock, when they were called a couple. Then John had asked Sherlock if he had anybody, girlfriend or boyfriend. He was so unattached all his life, and then he found John. All the times Sherlock left without warning or taking him along, made him remember how Sherlock did not trust people at first. He kept everyone an arm's length away, and only John could break that barrier.

Then all the texts that Sherlock made him send came to mind. He was uneasy at first, but slowly it became routine to send them for him. But he kept his pushiness about how fast John texted. Next memory was when he was stuck in the cage, always it was him stuck in the cage.

Breathing deeply again, John stared at his ceiling as the memories bombarded his mind. He never slept anymore, as his dreams were nightmares. They over took his life, and he wasn't sure if he'd wake up from the walking nightmare life was without Sherlock.

All the times he followed Sherlock blindly, and laughed with the man came to mind. Going to the bank, for no reason, or laughing at something stupid that Sherlock found funny. John missed being able to blindly trust someone, like he did with Sherlock.

The Blind Banker, as he named the case on his blog, came to mind. They nearly killed Sherlock, him and Sarah, multiple times, yet they lived. He never knew what Sherlock's reaction to him missing was. He assumed it was mild disappointment. Little did he know, Sherlock was scared for John. But the man was brave, while trying to save him and Sarah, and wasn't afraid while being choked.

All the times they ran from people, or towards the enemy together. Two warriors headed for battle, or two smart men running for their life. Or just two crazy men running from the police. The restaurants they stopped at, well for John to eat while Sherlock mused about possibilities. The man's bloody smile haunted him, along with Sherlock's boredom.

Going through the crowd to get inside the flat when the explosion happened, worried. Only to find Mycroft and Sherlock inside, calm, the latter strumming his violin softly, absent mindedly.

It all came to his mind, all hurting him, like holding your hand over an open flame despite it hurting. Tears silently fell down his face, as the memories continued, each opening a new wound.

The fake news article and Moriarty's game came to mind, along with Sherlock yelling at him for some reason or another. He couldn't remember what it was about, most likely something he did wrong. The way Sherlock was quick about getting the bomb of John's chest when Moriarty tried to use it as leverage.

It all ended with, what it started with. Sherlock saying during his last conversation, that this was his note. Then jumping off the roof, with John always trying to catch Sherlock, no matter what he fell from, a roof or grace. John didn't care, he still tried to catch the man.

Next was him, standing at Sherlock's grave, crying at it. He couldn't take the memories, anymore and let the tears flow freely, as they flashed through his mind. Turning over, he let the memories flow with his tears. Like he had been for the past three years. He cried for the man he had come to refer to know as his best friend...

**_The man he had come to love._**

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**A/N:** Hope ya'll liked it. Cause it was a pain to write. Power went out, couldn't think the exact words John said, I had to watch the video fifty times over, so the song is stuck in my head, I didn't know half of the scenes a bit, so I had to go rewatch those episodes to remeber what happened, PLUS I was an idiot and read Alone on the Water yesterday so, I am still a bawling fangirl mess. But nevertheless I shall write!


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